We Use To Look Up At the Stars.
We have a hot tub. The last time Ryan and I were in it together, just the two of us, was before I was pregnant with Jaeger, well over two years ago. When we first moved into our home we use to go in it together almost every other night. We use to look up at the stars and describe what we thought was out there in the universe. We use to come up with some pretty crazy stories and beliefs.
Ryan would often ask me to go into the hot tub with him on many occasions in my non-pregnant days. I would think about the effort to go upstairs, put on my bathing suit, have the hot tub, go back upstairs, have a shower, dry my hair and then get ready for bed and often concluded that it would be too much effort. Too much effort, yet, I use to really enjoy going out there, just the two of us.
Today I asked Ryan if tonight we could have a hot tub together. It was a date.
I could sense the stress he was battling with on his big exam coming up on Monday. The kids seemed to be extra loud and extra busy this morning which I didn’t think helped him much. How can I help you today? I simply asked.
He stressed his concern of having some quality studying time today. The best way I knew to help him was to plan it out. I planned to take the boys out of the house this morning. Colten had skating at 11am so that was an easy fix. In the afternoon, when we returned home, I would stay in with the boys and Ryan would go to the library until it closes at 5pm. I would make dinner. After dinner, he would put in an hour or two more of studying and then we would put the kids to bed together and begin our hot tub date night. Done.
The simplest thing as planning things out, A. Instantly relieves a bit of stress and B. Gives us each a clear understanding of what the other one is going to do. Plan to be more successful at reaching any goals in your relationship. Important as spouses. Important as parents. And at the end of that plan, at the end of completing a goal, give yourself a trophy. Hot tub date night sounds like a pretty good trophy to me.